my best bits since - sliced bread

[larkinaboot]

just joined site so gonna dive in with some of my best bits. See if you agree.

Being a geordie myself, Michaels introduction is a HOWL!
The way Alan shows nothing but contempt for the way he's talking.

"If the aal had jobs wot t' gaan tee, the wud'nt be up t' aal this larkin aboot! (hence username) Cos a lorra them is from broken homes!"

"WHAT?"

I watch the dvd regularly and i'm still creased!

"Dan, Dan DAN,DAN....." HE HE

"The names Tex"
"Text?"

"I'm sorry Alan, but i really wanted to see Americas strongest man!"
"Well now you've got Norfolks' maddest man!"
"I was all ready to watch Roger Moore necking with Fiona Fullerton! Now i have to watch a giant Michael Bolton lookalike throwing an oven over bales of hay!"


Michael: "Waar o' the worlds"
Alan: "Wild woods?"

"A cud dee yu a cup o' beans"
"A cup of beans!"
Was the sausage really necessary?

"Cockney Sonia, is place in London where murderers live!"

[lazlow]

HAHAHAHA YES! I love those bits! Here are some of my fav's...

"Crash!...Bang...Wallop!...What a video!"

"NO PLEASE!!......No its alright my Ukrainian girlfriend was just attacking me with a rubber hammer....yeah, shes mildly cretinous"

"Oh butter my arse!"

"No way, ya big spastic, your a mentalist!"

"Are you wearing Lynx?"
"Well smelt......Voodoo"
"Java................Alan Partridge"
"Dan Mooney"

"Thanks for the chocolate orange Alan"
"Did you notice anything wrong with the box?"
"no"
"exactly...all the others had superficial damage....i paid for yours"

"RAAAR!"
"ARGH!....Get off!"
".........No!..No its alright! I was just portraying a madman!"

"Here listen to this it'll blow your socks off"
*Gaudette by Steeleye Span*

"What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich City Center?"

"Why dont you two bury the hatchet over a machine coffee?"

"Coffee machine of the future Lynn. Kettles are SAAAAAD!"

"Shoot me in the head with a massive gun!"

"Thats the sort of thing you'll be seeing in this series. Lots of money spent on expensive items"

[oliver9184]

larkinaboot said:

Cockney Sonia, is place in London where murderers live!"

not where murderers live. Where CRIMINALS live.

Alan's face is sometimes as good as his words. After Michael says about Tex, "he likes American things".

Alan's face shows that he's either utterly appalled or he absolutely does NOT understand... or both.

"STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!"

"I'd never let that happen... he'd batter you"

"You'd hit the wall!"

"The fair's on fire!"

"Colonel Mustard in the en-suite bathroom with the lead pipe... battered"

"...got access to the kids but they don't wanna see me!"